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| http://www.babyblues.com/stuff/eat_cry_poop.html |
For some, all it takes is that first cry and you feel "the bond" but for others, that moment takes a little longer. It is so hard to explain what that feels like, but I'll try: the moment you feel that connection you realize there has been a hole in your heart all your life, and
this tiny miracle fills it perfectly.
It is hard to understand but I did not feel "the bond" with my daughter right away. Maybe it was the horrible birth, maybe it was my lack of Motherly intuition but for whatever reason I just didn't seem to realize she was mine. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved her with all my heart...I just couldn't make the connection that this was the same little tumbler in my tummy for 9 months. It took several weeks before it "clicked". I feel like I was crying all the time, I felt like I was being selfish for some reason. Like I couldn't give her everything because I didn't know what was missing.
Looking back I now realize this was all just part of the nasty baby blues. So much changes in your life the moment your baby is born. When you become a Mother you have to be the most selfless you have ever been in your life, suddenly nothing else matters as much as that little 8 pound (or so) person.
So don't feel discouraged if you don't feel "the bond" right away. You just went through the most painful, emotional and trying time of your life (be honest, you threatened to kill your husband at LEAST once while in labor) it is okay that you aren't shouting from the rooftops professing your love for someone you just met. But trust me when I say, whether it takes 2 minutes or 2 weeks for you to feel "the bond", you'll be ready to set the world on fire with your love for that little monster.
It is hard to understand but I did not feel "the bond" with my daughter right away. Maybe it was the horrible birth, maybe it was my lack of Motherly intuition but for whatever reason I just didn't seem to realize she was mine. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved her with all my heart...I just couldn't make the connection that this was the same little tumbler in my tummy for 9 months. It took several weeks before it "clicked". I feel like I was crying all the time, I felt like I was being selfish for some reason. Like I couldn't give her everything because I didn't know what was missing.
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| http://www.babyblues.com/junk_drawer/bbhistory.htm |
So don't feel discouraged if you don't feel "the bond" right away. You just went through the most painful, emotional and trying time of your life (be honest, you threatened to kill your husband at LEAST once while in labor) it is okay that you aren't shouting from the rooftops professing your love for someone you just met. But trust me when I say, whether it takes 2 minutes or 2 weeks for you to feel "the bond", you'll be ready to set the world on fire with your love for that little monster.
Thank you for this post. I had my daughter 10 days ago, and this is exactly how I feel. This is so tough. I just don't love being a mom yet, and I feel like no one talks about this. No one really acknowledges how tough it is, especially when your husband returns to work. Whew, these last few days have been long, but I know it will get better. Thank you for reassuring me that my feelings are not totally abnormal.
ReplyDeleteTotally normal and totally understandable. Your life just got flipped upside down! ;o) Those feelings go away, I promise! It is so tough and it felt like it took awhile for me but things will become more natural to you and before you know it, you'll be super mom! ;o) Take care!
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