C-section or not to c-section...that is the question

 I'm stuck. I need help and guidance. And I need this guidance from Moms that have been there...not my male OB who probably thinks that the pain of giving birth is equivalent to a paper cut. 

THIS: 

http://www.blipfoto.com/entry/1008518

DOES NOT EQUAL

THIS: 

http://www.bestpregnancytips.com/how-c-section-carried-out/

Here's the deal: I had an emergency c-section with my daughter thus providing me with the option of trying to have #2 naturally, or having my tummy ripped in two again.  I don't know what to do! A few facts about my history:

- I had high blood pressure at the end of my first pregnancy so I was induced at 39 weeks. 

- I only progressed in labor after my midwife broke my water, I asked for an epidural 23 seconds later. 

- I was progressing fine but my epidural started fading on my left side, so they flipped me over and then lost baby's heartbeat. 

- After messing with internal monitors, tapping my tummy to get baby to respond and putting me on oxygen...I got the emergency c-section treatment. 

- I had a boost in my epidural for the surgery, but could feel everything. Apparently it takes about 30 -40 minutes for a boost to kick in, they starting cutting after 5 minutes. NOT FUN. 

That being said, I would rather give birth without an epidural then go through what I went through with my daughter. This was so traumatic for me that it almost sealed the deal on never even having a second child. Yes, it was that bad. 

So here I am...pregnant with #2 and I never want this baby to come out. I'm too scared to have a c-section, but too nervous to try a natural birth because I don't want to end up with a c-section. What am I going to do?! 

http://dontgetmestarted-lindasharp.typepad.com/dont_get_me_started_with_/2012/04/pulling-my-hair-out.html

As with any decision, big or small...I write a list:

Pros of a planned C-section:

- I'll have a spinal this time

- It will be planned and there will be no rushing around like in an emergency...aka- time for me to get NUMB

- We get to pick the baby's bday (yes...this is actually important because I am lame) thus having care lined up for big sis

Cons of a c-section: 

- Recovery time

- I will continue to have MAJOR anxiety attacks about doing a c-section and will have to start carrying a paper bag around for me to breath in and out of for the rest of the pregnancy. 

- Recovery again...because it REALLY sucks

Pros of a vaginal birth:

- Easier recovery

- I get to actually "have" a baby

- Less time in hospital

- No risk of having a surgery with anesthetic that is equivalent to taking 2 Tylenol. 
- Doc has promised to put me to sleep if the situation comes about that I have to have a csection, but there isn't time to get totally numb. 

Cons of a vaginal birth: 

- I risk the chance of having yet another emergency c-section

- I might go into labor on my own while grocery shopping with Layla...and have no family here to help out. (again...this is actually important to me)

So what do I do friends?! Do I try for a normal birth in hopes that my worst nightmare doesn't occur? Or do I have a planned c-section and trust my doctors when he said he'll get me numb?

I want to know about YOUR experiences. Please leave a comment below or send me an email at naptimetales@gmail.com with the subject: C-Sections SUCK.