It has happened to the best of us...a Mom turns her back for 2 seconds and there is a toddler dumping bubble bath down the drain, a dog drinking out of the toilet or your dishwasher foaming because you didn't put the right soap in. But when you are nursing or pumping, you can't just get up and take care of business...the dairy farm doesn't shut down for emergencies! So for the new Mommies out there...here are 8 things that WILL happen when you are least able to deal with them:
1. An older child will take a marker and color on their hands, feet and face. If you are lucky, they will stay away from the dogs and walls (and other siblings).
2. If you are pumping- your baby will puke all over themselves 2 minutes into your 20 minute pumping session. You will not have a burp rag within reach so you will sit and and imagine cleaning up that mess as quickly as possible...for the next 18 minutes.
3. One of your animals will also puke ALL OVER the place. Repeat thoughts from #2.
4. An animal cruelty commercial featuring Sarah McLaughlin will come on and your remote will be across the room. You will be forced to watch those poor animals to the heart wrenching tune of the saddest song known to man. You will cry until Good Morning America comes back on.
5. The UPS man will pick the exact moment you start feeding your baby to ring your doorbell and deliver that package you've been waiting for. And of course that package will not be delivered unless they have a signature.
6. You will be tied in a competitive game of "Words With Friends" verses your old college roommate. Your phone will ding and the anticipation of what word she played will kill you...too bad you left your phone out of reach and will have to wait until baby is full to fire back.
7. You'll be nursing and looking out the window to a beautiful thunderstorm before you realize that your car is parked in the driveway with the windows rolled down.
8. You will put your baby down upstairs for a nap only to sit down and pump. As soon as you are hooked up, baby wakes up.